I am not a Super Hero(Update of Post from April Fools Day, 2009for Deanna)

I am a Super Dooper Super Hero.

 

If you ask me if I am a Super Hero, and I’ll say “no.”

 

Ask me if I’m a Super Dooper Hero, I’ll say “no.”

 

Ask me if I’m a Super Dooper Super Hero, and I’ll say “I couldn’t say.”

 

When in “Super Dooper” mode, (short for Super Dooper Super Hero), I wear glasses.

 

Since I make everyone forget my intervention to maintain anonymity and preserve widespread perceptions of free will, no one is aware that I have saved the human race 14 times in the last 12,565 years. (I am wrinkle free)

 

Some of my friends call me “Dooper,” but don’t know why.

 

Sometimes, to throw meddlers off my trail, I act like an antiestablishmentarianist, play hurt and appear to age a little.

 

I am responsible for motivating Homo-Homo Sapiens to form complex specialized civilizations, so I could have someone to talk to.

 

Being a Super Dooper Super Hero obviously implies that I am a Super Dooper Super Genius as well, which is why some people call me “G,” but don’t know why.

 

I have authorized my secret identity to offer an amazing opportunity.

 

Those who call any number within the next 365 days are eligible to receive authorized permission to use the coveted Super Genius Frend acronym – SDSGF, after signatures, on printed documents and in the internets, for $100.00.  Call Now.  Those who call in the next 24 hours will receive an SDSGF II designation, regularly $200.00, for the low, low price of $100.00.  SDSGF X is available for $1000.00. Call Now

 

Once you have received your certificate of authenticity you will not remember that I am really a Super Dooper Super Hero, but only that you are a Super Dooper Super Genius, but you won't know why.

 

 

Disclaimers; What you may think I'm thinking isn't necessarily what I'm thinking.  Fine print can take what big print gives. Some of what was may not have happened the way you think.  The only two certainties, are that you and everything that’s not you, exists.  Without written exemptions, sometimes multiple restrictions may not apply, unless they do.  Most information is hypothetical.  What you don’t know you don’t know, is more than you think. Author is not liable if observation alters the observed.  The actual existence of some information can neither be confirmed nor denied.  Charles Darwin may have been adopted.  Reality may or may not be more than you think.  Time may exist independently of human consciousness.  You may be a robot and not know.

 

August 11, 2009 Update:

 

My power is that I can do anything, as long as I believe it already happened.

 

I cut my hair and trim my nails in Normal Human Mode (NHM).

 

I can smell everything.

 

Do you see why being a Super Dooper Super Hero is better than being a Super Hero?

I have counted to infinity, twice.

 

I can time travel, and can be in two or more places and/or times simultaneously.