"If Corporations Are People, Then..."

"...Based on the Supreme Court's Citizens United ruling, corporations now have unlimited free speech rights, the same as human beings do.

...humans have a few more rules to follow than corporations.

...If you are a guy, you have to register by age 18 or you are not eligible to receive government training, a government job or eligibility for a student loan.

Perhaps all male corporations should sign up with the Selective Service to be eligible for government contracts, research grants or guaranteed loans.

...If you sue a corporation into bankruptcy, should that now be considered murder?

If you sign paperwork to form your corporation and the financing falls through, is that a miscarriage?

...If corporations are "people," then why don't they use our human tax tables?

...perhaps the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) rule that some have to follow would be appropriate.

When corporations can't exempt themselves from the AMT, they pay at a rate lower than many humans do, and that is after they file for the foreign tax credit, if they can. It does seem a bit unpatriotic to be willing to pay other countries' taxes and then complain about ones in the country that you call home.

We human beings are paying for the roads that the company trucks are driving on, among other perks that some corporations get for free.

...the corporate people may now start demanding unlimited Second Amendment rights. Some of those people can easily afford their own fighter jets, tanks, ships, cruise missiles and a well-armed militia to protect themselves with."

...Don Cavallaro